Thoughts are most often fading, but sometimes there are one’s that come along that simply cannot be shaken from our minds. When we think about something too much, we start to become consumed by it. Slowly but surely it can take over — it captures us. This can be a good thing when it relates to our relationship with God, but it can also be negative in areas of temptation and sin. There is also neutral ground like a captivating dream, trip you want to go on, item you want to buy, or food you want to eat, etc. Regardless, we become what we think about most of the time: a sum of our thoughts just as we are a sum of our indulgences — because the former leads to the latter. Whatever the thoughts may be, it’s a game of capture or be captured.
I have found myself captive lately. I didn’t realize it for a while, but there’s no doubt now that I’m stuck in a cell of cyclical thought. I am pacing in circles getting no where. I have been captured in the neutral ground, which isn’t a bad thing, however walking in circles day in and day out won’t do any good for anyone. I have this dream and I think about it often. I’m not going to lie, it’s quite a far-fetched dream! Although, that hasn’t stopped it from capturing my imagination.
I pray about it everyday. I pray for wisdom and discernment in how I approach the dream strategically. I ask Jesus if it is even something I should consider pursuing. I ask for Him to speak to me about it and provide greater clarity, yet even when praying constantly for these things there are times we may not be granted a single extra-biblical hint or suggestion. Even more challenging, He may respond to our prayers in soft whispers. Whispers that provide enough of a hint or clarity, but are also accompanied by a seed of doubt. “Was that God or me?” you may ask. “Could you repeat that, LORD?” “Just a little louder, please!” Yet the whisper remains.
There’s a lot to be discovered in those blind steps. There’s a lot to be experienced. There’s plenty to be learned. Of course you don’t want to take those steps if you don’t feel God leading you or it doesn’t line up with the Word He has spoken in the Bible, but sometimes He is silent. Sometimes you have to meet Him out on the water. Missteps may happen, but that’s no problem — just get back in the boat and try again. There can be no mistakes made when the heart is surrendered, obedient, and willing.
I asked myself what was holding me back from taking a step and came up with one blanket answer — fear. This is probably the most common hinderance we face when a step needs to be made in life. What am I afraid of? What really could go wrong if I gave it a shot? We often fear the impact that will be made if things don’t go according to plan — which is usually an issue of pride.
That being said, my little dream may end up flopping hard. It may look like one of those YouTube fail videos full of awkward face plants and skateboarders landing on an area of the body no one ever wants to land on! You may even see me walking down the street whimpering with my tail between my legs (read: pride wounded). However, I have learned it's far better to sacrifice your pride than it is to fail because you never tried.
What I do know for certain is that I will be stuck where I am at now in this particular dream if I continue on the same old path of think-think-think and zero do. I will be a captured vessel. I will plateau — and I never ever want to plateau! So I’m going to walk to the door of my cell, push it open (wait, it was unlocked all along?), and capture what had me captured — one blind baby step at a time.
What's it going to be for you? Are you going to capture or be captured?