Life lately has been especially amazing. Over the past month I’ve been hanging out with great people and learning cool things. I went on an epic and spontaneous trip and I had a beloved friend visit me whom I hadn’t seen in a very long time. God has also shown up in my life in mind blowing and incredibly tangible ways. I have absolutely nothing to complain about, but why is it that I’m feeling so very lost and down right now?
Truth be told, I had no idea what to write about this week nor did I have any desire to write. I was searching for a spiritual lesson that I could write about or a deep insight worth sharing, but my mind came up blank. The majority of #freshpostfriday was already past and I still didn’t have an idea — until I realized that my very state of soul was the idea.
As I was saying, my life has been lovely lately. I’ve been blessed in many ways, I’ve been surrounded by great people, and I’ve been able to experience some pretty cool things. The external circumstances of life have been a blast and I’m so very thankful for that. The internal conditions of my soul, too, were having a party — until a couple days ago. The internal party came to a halt all of a sudden. The external circumstances and joys remained, but the internal conditions changed. It’s so odd that when all is seemingly so good, I’m feeling gross inside.
What changed? Why do I feel lost? Why do I feel hopeless?
I spent much of my day reflecting on the situation. It started with me trying to figure it out on my own for a while, before I remembered that I’m much better off asking Big Guns Upstairs (the Lord) for some help and advice. As I was asking Him I was reminded of the necessity to “above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
I realized that amidst my go, go, go, I lost sight of my goal, goal, goals. When I lost sight of my goals, I lost sight of my purpose. And when I lost sight of my purpose, I lost sight of my hope. I temporarily lost sight of what mattered to my heart and I didn’t protect those things. It has been a solid reminder that “where there is no vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18)
It’s amazing how easy it is for this to happen, but it’s also amazing how faithful God is to those who ask for help. It’s my prayer that, if you’re feeling similar to what I’ve been experiencing, you’re able to rediscover your goals, purpose, and hope. I also pray that you spend less time than I did trying to figure it out on your own and more time asking and receiving help from our good, good God. (Matthew 7:7)